All in perspective

Much thanks to those who left comments on my last post. The encouraging words of others was exactly what I needed, both for getting past this and for being more diligent about posting.

I have good news! At first I was fretting about how I could make the rollers more difficult. they are my main form of training and thus the main opportunity to get stronger. While lifting yesterday morning I first thought about jamming a towel under them, as a way to increase the friction on the roller. And then I realized there was already a built in mechanism to add friction to the rollers & thus make them more difficult. Problem solved. (Silly me, I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner). I can make those rollers more difficult than any hill or mountain I might face. the only question then is how much better can I get in the remaining time. It feels good to know that I have the means to challenge my body and that the only way I cannot improve is to avoid training.

So today I cranked up the resistance and I think I've matched the challenge I found in the parking garage. Typically, tues/thurs are easy days & Wed is a 'spin' class type of day. I'm flipping that around such that tues/thurs are 'hill' days & Wed is a light day. I'll take off the resistance entirely on wed so I can work on my pedal speed & to give my body a rest. Saturdays are now 2.5 hour rides. I'll probably put on a 'light' resistance, enough to increase the difficulty, but not so much I can't keep my pedal rate up. Sundays are long rides... I'm going to break the ride down into parts, varying the resistance, inserting a few 'climbs', and a few 'flats' (for cardio & pedal speed) but capping my time on the bike at 6 or 7 hours. Hopefully, I'll make the target distance. But the real goal is to be prepared. We have to be off the road at 5pm each day & I probably will get on the bike b/t 7 & 8 am most days.

If I'm honest with myself, part of my experience and thoughts about Sunday centered on pride.. I don't want to show up & embarrass myself. It would be embarrassing to be ill prepared. I don't want people to attribute any difficulty to my 'disability' if its really due to a lack of proper training and conditioning. It would be a blow to my ego if I showed up in less than acceptable conditioning. And so I'm grateful for my experience sunday. I have time to improve, time to get better. The climbs will be a challenge, but I'd like to make a respectable showing, to be a respectable presence and representation. I don't believe in excuses. It is easy to find a reason why not, but I choose to find a way.

But it important to balance pride and ego with acceptance. Should I be unable to do as much of the ride as I want to, should I decide that I was not well enough conditioned, I will accept it as gracefully as possible & enjoy the trip. I mean really, spending a week riding in a car down the California coastline isn't a bad deal at all. The success is in the journey, in the challenges faced and the lessons learned. Once this is all over, I'll be looking for the next one!