sucking it up

Another ride in the books! Today was 71 miles & I did my best to make it difficult, but not impossible.

71 miles in 6:38, something about 10.5 mph average. I'm hoping this approach pays well come October.

My mind wanders all over the place while I'm on these Sunday rides. Today I thought a bit about a question that was asked of me, about what motivates to get on the rollers. While not my first choice, they get the job done, and so that is the first & easiest reason.

Otherwise, there are many things I use for motivation. Very often its thinking of all the people who have helped, who are helping. And sometimes, when it gets tough, its a bit of pride, a bit of wanting to be prepared.

And then there are times like today when it really, really sucks.... When it really does become all mental, when your body and mind are screaming at you to stop & not finish. I mean, who will know?

I will. I'll know. And I'll know that the reason I stopped was I couldn't, wouldn't tough it out. In this situation, in this period of my life, in this 'adventure', I'm not ready to let that happen. I'm not ready to say that I've met my match, that xx number of miles on a roller, on a Sunday, are more than what I've got in me, more than my mind and body can handle. It just isn't true. I know better. I might have to stop every 50 feet because I'm exhausted, but I will put in my miles, no matter how long it takes. That I can do.

I know what real physical deficits look like.... I know that my right hand does not work, that I cannot make a fist. I know that my left hand only works about 50%. I know that my abs don't work, that my legs don't work, etc.... the list goes on.

But more important, I know I'm more than the the sum of what doesn't work. I know that the biggest limitation is what I think I can't do.....We are beaten as soon as we allow ourselves to think that we are. I choose to believe I can.

And besides, I can't get off the bike & walk it up a big mountain... I've got be able to suck it up & get over it.